Sounds like a plan!

So it seems like I’m not the only one out there.Here’s a link to something that summarizes the current situation for more people than you know. Kinda cute, and very on target, or at least I thought.

Well, except for the porn rentals. *yawn* Weak….

Anyway, I still wonder quite often what people are thinking when they read this stuff, so I’m going to set up a discussion forum for the website, well at least try. I’ll also make it password protected so that not everyone in the whole world can comment, SO if you’d like to (and you didn’t get an e-mail with the info) just drop me a line and ask for the info so u can post on my thoughts. And post your own!

Hmm… I made a list (click below!) and it looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me. In any case, take a listen to this artist, Corrina Repp. Not earth-shattering, but I like this song. (Sorry about leeching the link, but I don't know if I have the right to post it here.) And is that Mark Kozelek singing backups? Hmm…

I’m planning on sending a demo off to this label (Hush Records) just to see what happens…:)

THE LIST

Thief or beggar?

It seems as though I learn something new every day about being unemployed.

I’ve been rather sick for about a week… an honest to God cold with the endless coughing and the running nose. I kept expecting to see a sign posted in front on the apartment lawn Something like the stork for the pregnant women when they deliver…. shaped like a big booger saying “Guess who’s expectorating!”

After being stuck with bread water and jello, there’s nothing better than heading out and getting a good helping of burrito. But with my lack of income, it’s a trip that has to be considered a treat. So I’m off on the bike to the local burrito house, the walkman in my shirt pocket pumping out the necessary tunes for the trip. Today it was something tasteful – a bit of classical guitar, with one of my favorite Ravel pieces.

And then it hits me. I’ve got two bucks in my wallet and that’s not even going to cut it for a taco and a cup of coffee. I’m too hungry not to eat, and too chilled after the bike ride to not imbibe some hot liquid (not to mention coffee is a major addiction for me) …what’s a guy to do.

Charge it. There’s some cash in the bank still and what’s a six dollar charge, right? And that leaves the two bucks for the coffee. (Sorry barrista. I have to admit, I have a hard time justifying a tip to someone who pulls a lever and fills a paper cut with hot liquid. Pretty soon some people are going to demand a tip for just smiling, or acknowledging your existence in front of them while taking your hard earned money.)

So I slap the dinner on the bankcard and as I’m walking away I see it. The person in front of me paid in cash and is carrying the change clenched in their hand. I’m drawn to the green, noting the denominations, adding up the amount in my head, and wondering, watching to see if they’ll accidentally drop any of it while shuffling the red fast food basket, napkins and soda cup from hand to hand.

The basket went down on the service counter and then the cash wad was mindless shoved into a pocket along with a rouge napkin. Forty-three dollars and random coinage. And I’m standing there peering from under my brow, my back hunching over; I’m morphing into a money monster, and all I can think about is how to separate people from their loose change. I’m one step from standing on the corner and begging. I wonder how long….

where have i been?

So this is it. I didn’t get the job, I’m back on the black night, and I can finally post again.

Shit...

I’m so sick of being “almost” good enough, sick of being jerked around and lied to my face by recruiters or people who are already ‘set’. Sick of this world having no place to accept my talents and no place for me to succeed using my talents.

Bitch bitch complain and whine. Am I blaming the world for my shortcomings? How can I make a space for myself when I haven’t got the resources... well, I should say the back door connections.

Damn it all! Rage, rage against the man. How is it that others are ‘guaranteed’ jobs after graduating based on family position and financial status? There will always be people with ‘more’ but how do I get to a point where I can survive? Where is my happiness and joy? Well in music. Duh. Where’s the paycheck in that? Seems to be that a person has to be a perfect shithead to make it though. A cock-tease. Here.. let me tell you a story.

Went to an open mic recently at Hogshead and just wandered in. At first it seemed nice. The first performer was up there, and even though there were very people in the audience, they were quiet and seemed nice. There wasn’t any great energy coming off the stage, but usually when the audience is nice towards this type of performer, it seems to show that they are there for the music and not the sport of ridicule. It was a good sign so I asked for the roster and wrote my name. I was supposed to play fourth. I went back out to the car, picked up the guitar and went back inside.

Two more acts went up on stage and then it seemed as though the host not only took over the stage, but had decided that performers were going to go up there in the order he wanted.

The final string was when some girl walked in and claimed she’d gotten a contract with Sony, and then proceeded to cock tease all the drunk frat boys who followed her in the door.

Now if a performer is featured or is truly doing something wonderful, I think it has a place to do an extra number or maybe take a bit more time, but this girl would just tease all the boys in the front and didn’t really display any real talent outside of something that might be found from a good phone sex operator. She wasn’t a very adequate guitarist and had a rather generic vocal style and bland songs. Oh, did I mention she was a tease? Ahh… but the best part came when she asked the audience to provide her with a capo for her guitar. Someone was nice (or perhaps flustered) enough to walk up and give her one, which she promptly attempted to make off with after her set. She put it in her bag and when he asked for it back, she played dumb and tied not to remember it wasn’t hers. Oh, and she spent the whole time after she got off of the stage stool parading in front of the stage (and the performer on it) getting e-mails and giggling, etc.etc. to the delight of the host.

So to sum it up, don’t play at Hogshead McDunnas. The frat atmosphere will only work in the performers favor if they are playing Eagles covers, or a song about “big fucking lesbians” to the drunken snickers of the audience. Not a very accepting crowd.

AFTER I RE-READ THIS:

Am I bitter? Wow, does that sound bitter. Haha.. actually no. I’m glad to know the difference, and to see the difference. But it just sort of stings at the moment. :) I will find my way...